Parenting 201: Parenting the Parent

 So, your kid has moved out, is off at college, or is simply just adulting on their own. You and the other parental unit are planning some boom-chicka-wow-wow moments, trips to places you have never been or just setting up regular dates for the two of you. Life is good! 

You and your spouse high five each other and are like "We totally aced this parenting bit! Now it's us time!" But then, just as you are about to hit "book trip" on that island vacation you had been wanting to go on forever, everything changes. 

Your parent now needs parenting! 

There could be a number of reasons that you suddenly have become the parent to your parent. Maybe you are just bored since your kid is out of the house and feel the urge to nag them. Maybe you have lost a parent and are helping the surviving parent out. There could be health reasons that have you getting more involved in their daily activities. Whatever the case may be, just when you thought the parenting gig was over...you realize it's not. You just have new students.

My father recently passed away. Though he was almost 80 and had health issues, it was still a shocker when you get "the call". It also made me realize how much he had taken over the household duties over the past few years, and also made me realize that my moms memory issues were worse than I had thought. 

I could have been in denial. I mean, at least with my dad alive, I knew there was someone to watch out for her. But once he was gone I found out that she really didn't have a grasp on what all was going on. I knew she had memory issues. I had been at doctor appointments with her when they mentioned she was showing signs of cognitive decline, and she had to be reminded repeatedly of appointments and such. But with my father as a shield I did not see how bad it was. 

So there we are, just about to live out our empty-nester years and suddenly my dad dies, my mom doesn't want to stay at her house (and I didn't really want her) and I find myself with a new resident in my house and someone else's bills that I need to make sure get paid. 

Here is the thing...no matter what age you are at in raising your child, basically the same rules apply. My friend was a preschool teacher for years and always said it wasn't much different than dealing with her teenage daughter. I'll let you in on a little secret - it really isn't much different when you are parenting a parent. I find myself using the same tactics or having the same conversations with my mom that I have had with my daughter in the last few years. In fact, my husband and I were talking about my mom one night and I stopped and was like "Wait, this sounds familiar!" It was familiar because I had just recently gone through the same issues with my daughter! 

Welcome to Parenting 201: Parenting the Parent. Good Luck and I hope you all ace the course!