Happy, Sad, Happy Sad....Happy? Sad?

One thing I have come to realize with my new empty nest status is that my emotions are all over the place. One minute I am like "I am so happy for my child! She is going to do such great things!" then the next minute I am like "But did I teach her everything she needs to know? How will she be able to survive out in the world without me!" 

I am happy that I have my house back without some little know-at-all teenager telling me where I should put things and how I should decorate, or you know...think she had a right to channel check and watch whatever she wanted even though I was already sitting down watching something. But I also miss the extra company while watching a silly reality TV show, or the random cuddles I would get while watching said TV show. 

I miss my child's witty comments and silliness, but then the flipside I am enjoying not having someone argue with me about everything. I mean EVERYTHING....every...little...thing. Boy can that girl argue! 

I found myself the other day getting all misty eyed because I was thinking about my kiddo and got sad. Minutes prior I had been all happy and go lucky and then like a flip of a switch....

Sigh....Seriously I think this has been the hardest part of being a parent. Sleepless nights? No biggie! Sick kiddo? Piece of cake! Watching your child become an adult? STRESSFUL!

The back and forth of my emotions had me thinking about a scene from the Disney movie Tangled. I think this pretty much sums it up!

Where have all my bagels gone?

And where are all my leftovers?

Oh wait...my kid is away at college. No one is eating my bagels or my leftovers!

So, I bought a package of bagels the other day. In the past these would have probably been gone within a day or two with both Shelby & I eating them. So, with that frame of mind, I was shocked when I went to the pantry and was like "Oh yeah, I still have bagels!" 

I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I mean, I was always kind of annoyed when she would expect bites of my food or sips of my drinks (but God forbid I want a taste or sip of any of hers!). She would ask me if it was okay to eat my leftovers, and cheesecake would not sit in my fridge for longer than a day or two (yes, we have had cheesecake that has lasted for DAYS!). But food never went to waste so we weren't just throwing money away on food. 

Now I am not saying my kid ate a lot, because she really didn't. I guess I just got used to her sneaking bites and finishing my food if I didn't want it. Leftovers wouldn't stay left over for more than a day

This is just one of the things you aren't told when your child becomes an adult and moves out or goes off to college. Before they leave you just think "Oh my grocery bill will go down! How exciting!" You don't think for a second that you will miss those little fingers sneaking behind you to grab your food to take a nibble. 

It's an adjustment. I mean for at least the last 18 years you have been preparing grocery trips and meals around this person. Then suddenly one day you put leftovers in the fridge with the assumption it won't be there tomorrow, and you are utterly shocked when you open those doors and there sits the takeout container - with no bites taken out of it!

I am sure I will get used to this, but...just when I do, she will be home on break and will be sneaking my food again.

No one Prepared me for This

I am going to let you in on a little secret. Lean in a bit closer, no one is listening to us are they? I am going to tell you a parenting secret that no one told me when I set off on this adventure called parenthood. And since we are friends, I am going to share this secret with you because it is an important bit of information.

One day your little baby will grow up and leave the house. I know...shocker right?? No one ever told me this! They told me about the sleepless nights after I brought home my newborn, the diaper blowouts, projectile vomiting, the terrible twos, just to name a few. Oh sure, they eluded to some day your child leaving your house, but it was more of an excuse as to why we couldn't currently do something "Oh, the minute my kid turns 18 they are moving out and we will travel again!" or it was a threat to your child when they misbehaved "The minute you turn 18, you are moving out or I will be charging you rent. Then you will know what it is like to be an adult!"

In theory you know that there is a very good possibility that, as your child gets closer to graduating high school, they will consider going off to college. But as a parent you kind of are in denial even as the college acceptance letters come in, and you and the fam go on tours of college campuses. Then the next thing you know, you are finalizing the financial paperwork, and are using your best Tetris skills to fit everything your child will need at college into the car AND still fit all necessary family members. 

Even if you are lucky enough to have a child going to college near by, it is still a life changer. That child that has been by your side every day for the last 18 years will no longer be a bedroom door away. You may find yourself ready to nag your child for the 10th time to empty the dishwasher but then realize, that is your job now because they are off at school. 

We are not the first to let our babies fly the coup, and we won't be the last. I know that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with. Just know you are not alone! Lean on your mom (or dad squads), lean on your partners and coworkers. Maybe you need an emotional support pet (ignore your partner if they veto this option! They are just in denial and don't know what they are saying! You DO need a support pet!

Make sure to still be there for your child, but remember to take care of yourself at all. Together we will get through this!